I have major cramps. This sucks.

LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!

Of having a panic attack. I don't know why.

Just got off the phone with my doctor's office, the same people that told me that the insurance would not cover my bariatric surgery last week. Well, the tides have changed. The insurance people stated they wanted detailed progress notes from the diabetes and nutrition class I took back in September. The doctor said they don't take progress notes but gave them the info on how to get in touch with the instructor so they can get more info. My doctor is overriding what the g.i. doctor said....
To sum it all up, I AM BACK IN THE RUNNING AND I WILL DO ALL IN MY POWER TO MAKE SURE THIS HAPPENS FOR ME!!!!!

That is my word for today. I woke up this morning and did not want to go to work. I think it's the job. I am grateful I have one, mind you, but here is the LAST place I wanted to come to. If I had not had a "talking to" from the boss and the big boss last week I would have called in sick. Sick of this place. Oh well. Done bitching for now.

I got denied for my surgery and got threatened to be sued by one of my credit cards unless I come up with $500 by the end of the month.
Next week will be better, right????????

In staff meeting today. A bunch of shit is going on at work, and I am finding it so frustrating to be here and deal with it. I am so glad that I did not storm out of the meeting like I wanted to, but I made a bunch of snarky comments under my breath to my supervisor. I apologized and she did not seem too mad, but I had better watch myself...

I am the aspiration unto the higher; I am the love of the unknown. I am the blind ache within the heart of man. I am the minister of the sacrament of pain. I swing the censer of worship, and sprinkle the waters of purification. I am the daughter of the house of the invisible. I am the Priestess of the silver star.

I need to bitch for a minute. How am I supposed to take care of my daily needs, such as eating and getting gas....without a supplement to the $40 I have for the next two weeks??????? I am beginning to think that prostitution is looking good right now.

.....I am getting so much done. REALLY

...has another broken tooth, and hence, another root canal today? Yes, it is lucky me! Can't afford to get the crown to go with it now or any time in the near future, but hey! At least it's something. And get this....I can't do it for two more paychecks, but they want $93 for the down payment. Figured it was a good omen...

...cannot seem to wrap itself around the VERY FEW lines that I have for the Equinox ritual tonight. What the fuck is the matter with me?

A special thanks to those who sent their well-wishes and those who attended my death on Saturday!

IN TWO MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK I'M FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will be ok, just letting off steam...........

I am in such a pissy mood! Source unknown...

 Yes, six different people have called in crisis, from hysterics to drug relapses. Wow! I suppose it is good to be needed. Do I actually get a lunch now?

So...this week the saga has continued:
1. They wanted $1500 to get the root canals and crowns. Clearly, this is not going to happen for a person as poor as I am. As I told the lady that delivered the news, I guess I am fucked and not in a good way. So I talked to UCLA dental school, and they are going to see me for a consultation. Perhaps they will not charge an arm and a leg to get my work done.

2. They confirmed I am definitely diabetic. They put me on new medication that has done nothing but make me throw up! Hot, huh? So, I had to call today and tell them that I am not taking it anymore. HELL NO!

3. I am still battling trying to get a referral for the bariatic surgeon so I can get this dreaded weight off of me. They told me that the insurance will only consider me for the surgery if I take diabetes classes. So that is next on my to-do list.

4. I am still battling major stomach issues. The approval came through for the GI doctor. We shall see what he or she says...

Ok, I am done complaining. For now, anyway. 

  I have two root canals scheduled for an hour from now AND (here's the scary part) my mother is here from Missouri and I am seeing her this evening! Help!